Today was the day I was going to renegotiate my contract with a long-time client.

I had done my market research. The gap between what the market was paying and what we were receiving was significant. I compiled my data. I discussed what I would say with family and friends. I had rehearsed more than once and finally reached  a place of confidence and peace.

I was ready for this hard conversation.

Or so I thought!

Pre-negotiation Sleepless Night

Staring at the clock, watching the minutes tick by, I realized I was not at peace. I was scared.

My thoughts would not stop. I was experiencing the dreaded Early Morning Second-Guessing:

• Was this a sign that asking for more money was a mistake?
• Maybe now is the wrong time and I should wait. The beginning of the year might be a better time. Why? No reason.
• Plus, I really liked the client. I liked the work and I was good at it. Why upset the apple cart?
• And…biggest fear…what if they decided not to renegotiate and I ended up with no client?

 Negotiating is Scary as SH*T !

I knew that what I was asking for was reasonable to the market. All the data supported that I am underpaid. My work has been exceptional. I knew I was deserving and worthy to receive what I was asking for but that does not mean it’s not hard as SH*T to ask.

Then I reminded myself why I was renegotiating.

• It had been 3 years without revisiting our agreement. It was time.
• I was getting paid significantly less by this client than any other clients and significantly less than the market.
• I am one of the best at what I do and deserve to be paid accordingly.

Here is the thing. All those facts of why I needed to renegotiate were true before I went to bed, and they were still true at 4:30 in the morning.

Nothing had changed.

Except – Fear had decided to join the negotiation.

Fear has a very loud voice. Fear is afraid of change. Fear is an expert of coming up with all kinds of reasons why you should not rock the boat.

I was at a choice point. 

I could listen to Fear.  I could walk away.  An easier choice in many ways.

But here’s the thing – even if Fear was right and I did not succeed in my negotiation I would still be better off having asked… no matter what the outcome.

• I am better because I faced my fears.
• I am better because I opened up a door to the possibility of more money. I don’t ask I don’t receive. Giving is great. Receiving is equally great.
• I am better off because I was building my “ASK” muscle. And once this muscle is built it never atrophies. It never loses strength.

I choose to ask.

I am ready to build my ASK muscle… are you?

Try This:

Complete these sentences:

What I really want is…

I want this because…

I would like it by…

Recite this mantra:

I am afraid and that’s ok!
I use my ASK muscle
and go for what I want anyway!

Now go and build that ASK muscle. Receive what you really want!

Are you ready to Build your ASK Muscle?  Sign up for your Negotiation Strategy Session today!  Let’s do this!