Get ready for a glimpse into Laurie’s 🧠 brain. (You have been warned).
It was suggested to me that if I want to grow my coaching business, I should do more video.
I know everyone loves video. I like watching videos. Ones that make me laugh. Ones that teach me something. It makes sense that doing more videos would help people find out about me and help me grow my business.
And then my brain takes over.
“OK. You need to create a video strategy.”
“Are you gonna do YouTube or Instagram? What about YouTube shorts? And what the hell are reels?”
“What will you name your YouTube show?
“What about TikTok?”
“You’re going to need to post a video at least once a day or it won’t make a difference. “
“Laurie, you know that if you don’t start doing video no one’s ever gonna find out about you. You’ll never be able to grow your coaching business and you’re gonna have to shut it down and go get a job at Starbucks.”
And it is not just me. I realized that I am also capable of getting glimpses into the brains 🧠 of my coaching clients. Their brains 🧠 are serving up thoughts like this:
“I need to send out 100 resumes every week or I will not have any success.”
“I should update my LinkedIn profile … again! That’s the problem.”
“If I am going to earn what I want to earn I have to go back and get my MBA.”
“In order to retire, I MUST write my bestselling novel. That means getting up at 4:00 am.”
Then I understood what was happening. We were all in a place of creating fear-based goals.
Once I realized this, I shut down my computer. Left my office. Got into my comfy clothes and took a nap.
Truth Bomb 💣: When you pursue a fear-based goal the results will ALWAYS be less than optimal.
Some Signs You Are Pursuing A Fear-Based Goal:
If you have set a fear-based goal you can be assured that it is based in 1 of 3 things:
- Scarcity Thinking – I won’t have enough time, money, or resources unless I act NOW.
- Catastrophic Thinking – I have to do this immediately or I will lose the house, have to file for bankruptcy, and move my family in with my aging parents in my childhood home😧.
- Judgement Thinking: What will others think if they find out I am out of work? What will people say once they hear that I am quitting my well-paid job to do what I love?
Other Things to look out for:
When you catch yourself starting sentences with “I have to”, “I should” or “I’d better” you are in the land of fear-based goal setting.
When you jump right to action without taking a beat and allowing things to settle and quiet down so you can get in touch with your inner wisdom and receive some higher guidance.
When you find yourself indulging in Avoidance Activities like bingeing Netflix, going WAY out of your way to get that delicious dessert, shopping online, or knitting a poncho. You get the picture.
You might think this is a way to create space so you aren’t acting out of fear, and it can be, but if you fill up the space with avoidance activities more than likely you are simply postponing taking fear-based action.
Laurie’s 🧠 Brain After Her Nap
After my nap, I was much calmer.
That is when I remembered that my real goal is to have fun.
Getting all worked up about what others think I should do, the amount of time I should do the video, and believing that if I don’t do a video I will not have a successful coaching business was all a bunch of hooey!
What really matters is if doing the videos would be fun even if I never got one client. If I was going to do a video then how can I make it fun?
Once I gave myself permission to let go of have to’s, should’s, gotta’s and connected back into a goal that was fun-based over fear-based everything changed for me. I started getting excited about doing videos just for the sake of doing videos. Then I found myself narrowing down the places I would post, the amount I would post and what I would post. It felt way more doable.
It is no surprise that, after an unanticipated disruption occurs in your job or at your company, you would feel scared.
Here is the thing about fear. It makes us believe that we know less than we really know, don’t have the resilience, creativity and inner power to do what we need to do to transform something wonderful out of something that we would not have chosen for ourselves.
When faced with something that immediately engages your fright, flight, freeze or flop mechanism do nothing but allow the fears to move through your brain and body. Give yourself space to feel the fear without acting on it. That might look like a nap, a walk, journaling, or yelling and breaking watermelons.
Then ask yourself, if I were going to have a fun-based goal around the actions I get to (not have to, should, better-words matter people!) take next, what would that look like? Then do that first. Then ask again. Fun-based goals over fear-based goals is the way to create the outcomes you really want!
Speaking of Fun, I am hosting an Encore Presentation! I have been getting great feedback on my FREE, LIVE Webinar Get Your Career Drive Back, so I am going to do it again! Join me Tuesday, Feb 21st at 11:30 am CT. Register Here. I would love to see you!