On October 15, I’m will be part of a lineup of speakers who are talking about leadership and company brand and story (DETAILS HERE). My particular portion of the event is going to be about transforming failure stories into success stories.

In preparation, I was talking to Michele Kelly, who is the inspiration behind the event.  She is helping me with my presentation and, in the process, tells me a story that I have to share with all of you.

Besides being an extraordinary business leader, writer, hostess and mom Michele runs marathons.

If you were in the Chicago area this past weekend you experienced a lot and I mean a lot, of rain. In fact, here’s a video that my husband took when he and my daughter went to Riot Fest (new name … Mudfest).

Michele and her daughter, Katherine, were planning on running a half marathon that went from Saint Charles to Aurora. Illinois. Due to the large amount of rain, the event planners decided to cancel the run.

Michele said she wasn’t sad. She’d been up late the night before hosting a dinner party.  She was tired. It was rainy and cold. When they heard that the race had been canceled, her next move was to get in line for a coffee.

While standing in line, her daughter turned to her and said, “Let’s run it anyway.”

I imagine a little bit of a side eye from Michele as she considered her daughters’ suggestion.

Then Katherine said something that changed everything. She said, “They don’t get to decide If we run or not.”

Michele said her body lit up when she heard this comment. Not only was she proud of her daughter standing up for what she wanted, but she also recognized how she had fallen into the trap of being respectful and following the rules.

Yeah, she was tired but she had run tired before. Yeah it was rainy but running in the rain was one of her favorite things to do. Yeah it was cold but once she began to run that coldness would be exactly the right temperature.

The truth was that Michele did what she had been told to do because that is how she was brought up. Like many women, we are told to be nice, stay quiet, be seen and not heard. You certainly do not want to stir the pot or question authority.

Especially true inside corporate America.

And look what happens when generations of women are taught to wait for permission?

• In 2025, women working full-time earned a median 82.1 cents for every dollar earned by men. For women age 25 and older, it was 81.9 cents according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

• McKinsey’s 2025 Women in the Workplace research found that for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 93 women were promoted. For women of color, it was only 74. Women also represented just 29% of C-suite roles in the companies surveyed.

• Another fact from BLS that is pertinent is that in 2025, 87% of women and 75% of men reported doing household activities on an average day. Among those who did them, women spent 2.8 hours, compared with 2.1 hours for men. Those hours add up.

When Katherine said, “They don’t get to decide if we run or not,” something inside Michele shifted.

She realized that she had been following a story she had been handed about the spoken and unspoken rules women are expected to follow. Be respectful. Follow the rules. Don’t make waves. Don’t disappoint people.

But she also realized something else.

The story wasn’t hers.

And maybe that’s the question worth asking ourselves in our lives and careers.

Whose rules are you following?

Whose definition of success are you living by?

And what would you choose if you stopped waiting for someone else to decide what was acceptable?

Maybe it’s time to run your own race.

Not because someone gave you permission.

Because you get to decide.