One of the biggest communication problems I encounter in interviews, leadership meetings, and even casual conversations is this:

Most people either “take the under” or “take the over.”

Meaning…

They either under-answer (short, vague, incomplete) or they over-answer (long, rambling, irrelevant).

Both patterns break connection and, in careers, broken connection costs credibility. Both patterns get in the way of influence.

And both patterns are 100% coachable once you see them.

When You’re “Taking the Under”

This is the person who answers an open-ended question with:

• “Yeah, it went well.”
• “We got it done.”
• “I led the project.”
• “It was challenging.”

…with no detail, no context, no insight into impact.

It feels like pulling teeth to the asker. No fun.

Why you might under-answer:

• Fear of bragging
• Wanting to be efficient
• Lack of clarity about which details matter
• Anxiety and wanting to “get it right”
• Years of social conditioning not to take up space

Why it’s a problem:

Under-answering makes you look less experienced than you are.

It’s hard to trust someone who can’t articulate what they’ve done, and trust is the currency of successful careers.

When You’re “Taking the Over”

This is the person who gives a 7-minute answer to a 30-second question.

They include:

• Too many details
• Irrelevant stories
• Complex background
• Every thought that crosses their mind

It’s exhausting for the listener.

Why you might over-answer:

• Nervous energy
• Lack of structure
• Trying too hard to prove themselves
• Not sure what the interviewer is asking
• Over-prepared scripts that have you not listening … just answering

Why it’s a problem:

Over-answering makes you look unfocused, unaware, and lacking career presence … even when you’re deeply capable.

The Career Communication Goldilocks Method

The sweet spot between taking the under and taking the over is what I call:

The Career Communication Goldilocks Method. It’s communication that is:

• Clear
• Concise
• Complete
• Audience-aware
• Confident

Not too much.

Not too little.

Just right.

The Goldilocks of communication.

Two Ways to Bring Your Communication to the Goldilocks Middle.

1. The 3 Sentence Rule:

              Context – What was happening?

              Contribution – What did you do?

              Conclusion – What happened because of you?

This gives you a complete answer without overwhelming your listener.

Bonus tip: end with “I can give you more details if you would like?”

This shows confidence, awareness and gives space for redirect if needed.

2. A 2-Minute Awareness Exercise

You’ll know immediately whether you tend to under, over, or bounce between the two. No one likes to do this exercise but, trust me … do it!

1. Record and time yourself answering common questions like:

   “Tell me about a recent accomplishment you’re proud of.”

   “What is the status of Project ABC?”

2. Then ask yourself:

• Did I answer the question fully?
• Did I ramble?
• Would someone understand my impact?
• How long did I take? Did I take the under or the over?

Listening to yourself brings the awareness you need to adjust your style.

My Final Thoughts

Communication isn’t about giving more or less.

It’s about giving what’s useful to your listener.

If you stop taking the under or the over and find your Goldilocks style, you naturally stand out as a grounded, thoughtful, aligned communicator.

That’s what people remember.

And that creates career success.