Lately, I’ve noticed a recurring theme with my clients. I know this because I’ve told pulled out the same analogy story more than once to different clients over the past couple of weeks. This is also something I blogged about a few years ago. It must be a thing.

The story is about two begonia plants.

One day, my stepdad and I bought identical begonia plants. I took mine home and replanted it in a pot I had. He did the same.

Several weeks later, I visited his house and saw a begonia so large that I thought, “That can’t be the same plant we bought together.” But it was!

The difference? The pot.

The one I had chosen was much smaller, and my begonia had grown to about the size of a softball. Meanwhile, my stepdad had planted his in a much larger pot—and his begonia had flourished, growing bigger than a beach ball.

Same plant size. Same potential. But one had been given more space to expand.

What Does This Have to Do with Owning Your Leader Persona in Your Career?

One of my clients was recently promoted. As part of her new role, she traveled to several of her company’s manufacturing facilities in Europe. Her visit had been planned for weeks and the different teams stepped up to the plate. Dinners of the local cuisine, tours of historical sights, and employees lining up outside the facilities to greet her.

Instead of receiving this as part of who she was now as a leader, she felt … uncomfortable.

Her first thoughts. I’m disrupting their work. This attention feels excessive.

My first thoughts. This is what happens when you step into the bigger pot. It’s time to expand the belief and capacity to own it.

Leadership isn’t just about gaining a title or new responsibilities. It’s about expanding your belief and capacity to embody your new identity – you as a leader. My client had been given a larger space to grow—but she was still thinking like the version of herself that had succeeded in the smaller pot.

How to Expand Your Belief and Capacity as a Woman Leading in Tech

When stepping into a leadership role, women instinctively put their “operational hat” back on. They try to tackle challenges the way they always have—relying on old strategies, overworking instead of delegating, and questioning whether they belong at the table.

It can be different. Try these 5 Steps instead:

1. Expect the Best

If you know me, you know that I firmly believe that our thoughts create our reality. If you assume your leadership is a disruption, it will feel that way. But if you expect that people want to hear from you, that your presence matters, and that you belong, your actions will align with these beliefs.

2. Challenge Those Limiting Thoughts

Besides expecting the best you need to also begin to notice and challenge the thoughts that make you shrink like, “I don’t deserve this recognition” or “I’m taking up too much space.” If a plant could think, would it say, I shouldn’t grow too big? No! It would expand as much as its environment allows. Challenge your mental constraints and remind yourself: I am meant to grow, and people are excited to see me lead.

3. Push Outside Your Comfort Zone

When things feel comfortable, it’s time to shake things up and look for a bigger pot. You can begin to find your bigger pot by taking actions that give you that queasy feeling. You need to also consider who you are becoming in the process. Ask yourself, What kind of leader do I want to be? What do I need to think, feel and do in order to own this role fully?

4. Trust Your Inner Authority

As you grow yourself as a leader, you will need to lean on your intuition even more. Research indicates that many CEOs and top-level executives rely on intuition and gut feelings, alongside data, when making critical decisions. As you learn to trust your gut, you will also trust that things are unfolding exactly as required and that you will be guided through your intuitive approach to what needs to happen next.

5. Accept it. You are the leader!

Instead of resisting or questioning why you are leading, accept that you are the leader. How do we know this? Because you are in the role! Let yourself be fully seen. Expect that you will have the capacity you need to meet the role you’ve been given—just like the begonia did when placed in a larger pot.

When you believe in yourself as a leader and trust that you will have the capacity to meet what is required of you in this role, you will expand in proportion to the space you allow yourself to grow into.

If you’ve been feeling uncomfortable in a new leadership role, that’s a good thing.

It means you’re stretching. It means you’re growing.

So, the question is:

Will you stay in the small pot, or will you replant your beliefs about yourself and expand your capacity to embrace the leader you already are?