I don’t think it’s a coincidence that two coaching clients came to me recently in a quandary.
Their problem?
They did not trust themselves to make the “right” career decision.
One of them is moving into the final stages of a negotiation for a company that she really would like to go work for. Everything seems to be progressing positively on both sides. She was bringing me up-to-date on our recent call and then I hear her say this: “I’ve gotten here before and I blew it”
At the same time, another client is at the beginning stages of a new job search. We were talking about where she is at and where she wants to go next in her career. And then she says this: “The last move I made I was super excited about…and it’s turned into being a total nightmare. How can I trust that I can make good decisions about my next career move?”
They both wonder how to look at what they consider to be a past mistake and trust that, going forward, they won’t repeat the same mistake.
This type of thinking doesn’t just happen during the job search.
You may have made a financial mistake in the past and then fear that you’ll make a similar financial mistake in the future.
You may have made relationship mistakes in the past and wonder if you should trust your heart and your instincts around other people.
So, how do we remove our lack of trust in our own ability to make “correct” decisions when we judge ourselves as having made “bad” decisions in the past?
Enter The No Judgement Zone
Judging things, events, people, and decisions as good or bad/right or wrong is a rocky road. It leads us down the path of second-guessing, self-beat up, blame and shame.
It leads us to a place where we doubt our abilities and do not trust ourselves.
The energy we expend judging is wasted energy.
What if you chose to not judge and label anything?
By choosing to move into the NO JUDGEMENT ZONE you step onto a different road. This road leads to greater peace, joy and fulfillment.
You can trust yourself again.
Yeah right! No Judging. Easier Said Than Done
Judging ourselves and others is a habit we learn at a young age. We live in a world where we are taught to compete against one another. To compare ourselves to one another. We are taught that in order for me to win someone else has to lose.
Judging and labeling are part of our culture so, yes, this is not an easy task I suggest. But habits are made to be broken.
Try This:
Take this week and keep track of how many times you label and judge yourself as good/bad/right/wrong.
You will be amazed at how deeply ingrained this is.
No wonder we question our abilities to trust ourselves.
As you begin to raise your awareness about when and how you judge yourself (tip-look out for comparison, self-blame, self-criticism, self-doubt, envy, jealousy) you can begin to change your behavior.
- Offer kindness and compassion to yourself over past “mistakes”
- Change how you talk to yourself. Use loving words
- Appreciate someone else’s success
- Be curious instead
In a No Judgement Zone we get to live in the present moment offering ourselves peace.
We get to evaluate the results of our decisions from a place of compassion and kindness.
We get to use that information to inform our next actions knowing that the opportunity to live free of judgment that decisions we made are good/bad/right/ wrong is always available to us.
Make no mistake, signing up for a Negotiation Strategy Session will leave you feeling confident and ready to negotiate for anything. SIGN UP TODAY
