Because what happened next didn’t feel so good to me or my friends … and I see the same thing happen to my coaching clients too.

I was recently working with a coaching client who just accepted a new role. She was in the process of tying up the loose ends in her current role and preparing for her next one.

As we were talking, I was reminded of a story that I have told many clients during this transition time that I wanted to share today. I call it …

She Had the Baby and Forgot to Tell Anyone.

Years ago, I was part of a community of women who met monthly as part of a spiritual exploration group. We did many different types of activities from volunteering to book discussions to celebrating birthdays and, in this case, the upcoming birth of the first child of a member.

Every month we got updates on her life growing inside of her. The nesting preparations. The furniture purchases. The bedroom setup. Though she and her husband were keeping the sex private, we had fun suggesting all kinds of possible names often with a Chicago theme. Wrigley. Hancock. Drake. Montrose.

And, of course, we held a beautiful baby shower luncheon.

Then some new news. Her husband was offered a wonderful career opportunity across the country. Very quickly, in her 8th month, they were relocating. We helped them pack up and move.

Crazy timing. She was overwhelmed and so grateful to have all the support.

Then, about 3 months later, at a meeting, one of the women asked if anyone had heard from her.

How was she settling in?

Did she like her new home?

Did she have the baby?

Was it a girl or a boy?

Were they calling them Drake?

We had been through essentially the whole pregnancy with her and knew nothing about the outcome.

It did not feel good.

We all felt ignored, like we had not mattered to her. Or worse, like we had only mattered for the moments that we were useful and available to help.

How Getting a Job and Having a Baby are Kind of the Same

I have seen the same thing happen when someone finally gets the job.

They are so excited.

They are also very busy. They have to give notice. They have to prepare to transfer their work. They need to talk with their team. They are working with HR. They are getting documents completed for onboarding with their new company. They have let their close-in friends and family know what’s up.

It is not surprising that a person does not stop to think about all the folks that may not be part of their daily lives who contributed to them during the process.

Yet, I would argue, this is probably one of the most important job search activities you can do when you accept an offer.

Reach out to those who helped along the way.

Before you start that new role, make it a priority to share your good news!

Reach out to:

• The person who encouraged you when you were doubting yourself
• The one who made an introduction or referral
• The friend who listened to you process … over and over again
• The recruiter or hiring manager who advocated for you
• The “weak tie” who didn’t have to help but did something anyway

Let them know.

Close the loop.

Bring them into the outcome.

Don’t leave people wondering…

What did she name that baby?